Wine Writing

(Picture above: Picture that goes along with the story below)

Back in August of 2013 I lived in Maine with a roommate who was a friend of the family. She went away for the weekend and it was my first time really relaxing in the house alone since I moved in three months earlier. It was a Saturday evening and I was feeling kind of blue so I stretched out on the couch, had my glass of wine and chips next to me on the coffee table and watched TV and surfed the internet on my laptop. I got tired of going to the kitchen for refills so I set the bottle of wine on the coffee table as well. Somewhere, midway into the bottle of wine I got the brilliant idea to look on one of the dating websites to see if there were nice-looking guys in Minnesota. I had family there and thought maybe if I could handle the winters in Maine I could handle Minnesota (I’m kind of adventurous that way). You don’t have to have a profile to look at the pictures so I was scrolling through the pictures and seeing what Minnesota had to offer.

Next thing I know I wake up with the laptop burning my legs, the screen saver was going across the screen and when I hit the mouse pad, there was a picture of me on the dating website with a profile (the picture above) I had posted and had no recollection of doing that! I was freaking out! I got up really fast, put the laptop back down on the couch and started pacing back and forth, noticed the time was 4:30 a.m. and thought Oh Lord what did I write on my profile? I was afraid to look at it.

Finally I got the nerve up and read it. Shocking and interesting. No typos. Grammar pretty decent. Wow, I actually described myself in a positive light. One whole bottle of wine and I write like someone else. Also shocking is that I had 200 emails in less than 24 hours. What?!! Maybe wine is the answer to my writing issues. Here is my profile for your reading enjoynent. Not award-winning but considering my condition, not too shabby.

“Not Your Typical Female: Likes Sports, but not more than you. Likes Trivia but not a Brainiac. Loves the simple things as long as there is good conversation. Has girl friends for emotional support so you don’t have to fake it. Will blow your mind with music knowledge, especially lyrics. I’m looking to complement you not overshadow you but you still need to know how to show respect and appreciate a real woman who doesn’t apologize for her beliefs. Loves the beach, walking for exercise and relaxation, trying new things (other than sky-diving) and sincerely likes to listen to people. Open for almost anything within reason. Just ask and I have no problem with telling you what I want. Humor is so important. It is important for you to understand that I am funny. :-)”

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