I can only speak for myself. It is a given that I’m not a cookie-cutter woman. The most frustrating thing for me in any interaction with men, whether it be the first meet and greet or far into the dating relationship, is the assumptions that are made because of the old school stereotypes, something they read or someone they were in a relationship with in the past.
Even if a man doesn’t mean any harm I take offense to him suggesting I would like a man with a lot of money so I could get his credit card and go shopping. Or assuming that if he brings me flowers all is right in the world. Flowers happen to be a nice gesture and I would never discredit a man for bringing them to me on a first meeting or early on in the dating relationship but flowers are not a magic button for me. If we are not getting along and you bring me flowers you will be eating those flowers for dinner. I’m not dazzled by the sparkles of gifts/flowers. For me it is all about communication and respect. If we are not getting along, it is better that you actually talk to me and get some understanding and I will listen and get the same from you. I’m aware that it is so frustrating for men to know what women want because there are plenty of women that have no idea of what they want themselves.
I think there needs to be classes taught for men to learn how to treat a woman and vice versa.
For instance, I have friends in the past and present who have complained about her man not acting or reacting the way she would. Then the woman will pout and tell the man that he should know why she is mad, as if he is a mind-reader or something. You are lucky if he remembers your anniversary or to take out the trash on trash day but you think he has the supernatural power of reading your mind? Give him a break! Men can’t respond like women because they are men. I sure don’t want a man who behaves like a woman.
I want a man who is my friend that can share intimate details of my life with, we laugh together and he shows me respect and vice versa, but I don’t want him relating to me as if he were a woman. That is just weird.
I’ve tried so many times to snap my friends out of it and get them to have a different perspective towards their man. Men, don’t get offended at this but this is what I have to do to get them to understand how ridiculous it is for them to expect so much of you on an emotional level. I tell my female friends who are complaining, “Stop expecting him to be a woman!” He is not a woman, he is a man. He wakes up in the morning and says, “Oh, I have to pee, so he goes in the bathroom. Then he says, Oh, I am hungry, so he gets something to eat. Then he says, I need to go to work and support the family, so he goes to work. You get my point, right? Women are up and flying, taking care of the household, children, her husband, the pets and then herself.
Men are simple yet complicated as are women, just in different ways. Men want to know they are the man, that they bring something to the table that you need. They want you to be happy. But at the same time, they are not emotional machines like a woman. To all the women reading this, phone a friend when you need to talk emotions. Your man won’t say the right things in response to your venting and that will cause more harm than good.
Men, you want to find a way to impress or please a woman/your woman, don’t read books and magazines and internet articles. Get to know your woman. Pay attention to the small details. Be thoughtful. Let her know you will kick anyone’s ass that messes with her. That you will fight for her if necessary. Stop acting like you are listening and only grabbing the last sentence to repeat back to her. Listen to her the first time and make her feel validated and you won’t have her chatting your ear off all the time about you not listening to her.
Women, give your man a break. He is a man. They are hunters. They are providers. They need short sentences to process. One complaint at a time until that one is resolved. They worry but don’t share their worries because of the way they were raised, pride, etc. Men don’t say their stuff out loud. They hold it in because they perceive it as a weakness and don’t want you thinking they are weak. Stop expecting them to respond and react to everything the way you would. You are individuals. He should not expect you to react like a man either.
If you are going to be in a relationship, why waste it on the petty crap that has never changed in thousands of years. Men are men. Women are women. Embrace what your partner brings to the table and find ways to communicate effectively. If you are not for each other you are against each other and what exactly is enjoyable about that life? If you both enjoy misery just keep on doing what you’re doing. Peace and love.