Ponderings of Anxiety and Random Stuff

My thoughts this Sunday morning;

How am I supposed to write during a 3 day anxiety episode?

Why did I start having these attacks so late in life?

Why is it 55 degrees at the end of May?

Should I move to Norway?

Why did God make me an extrovert and have me isolated from people?

Can you grow tired enough of everyone’s bullshit that you just shutdown?

My beginnings…I was adopted at birth. Received my ancestry DNA report this Friday. Found out that I’m over 50% Norwegian, a lot of Irish and Finnish but the rest of it goes into a giant pot of Broadly Northwestern European. Oh and God thought it would be funny to throw in 0.1% East Asian (random), though I do love me some sushi. 🙂

When I try to narrow down the information to isolate the rest from the Norwegian, (who is definitely my biological mother’s side), it is nearly impossible to find the defining line that would encompass my biological father’s side.

He is supposedly French and the report specifically told me I have zero French DNA. WTH does that mean?

I have two different personalities, Maura before coffee and the nicer version of Maura, post coffee intake.

To my surprise, I’m not the only person who has panic/anxiety attacks. Find myself having so much more empathy and compassion for those whose suffer from these torturous demons.

I knew it was bad this past week when I hunted down my life insurance papers, an envelope and paper to write my last will and testament. Who am I?

Music helps me so much but I can go for days without realizing I should turn it on.

Playing right now.. “Everything She Wants” by Wham. The memories!

Did you know that taking deep breaths doesn’t always work with anxiety attacks? I found this out first-hand. Not a good feeling.

I did isolate some triggers this week… One would be an overload of information and the other, feeling trapped or backed into a corner.

Feel free to share your thoughts regarding these issues or any of your own random thoughts.

Now playing on my Amazon Music, appropriate…. “Boom” by P.O.D.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s