Quite often you will hear me say something like, “I don’t care what he/she thinks about me.”
Then within seconds find me stressing about so-and-so and the fact they might be upset with me. Or obsessing about the way someone is or isn’t communicating with me or the unpleasant opinion they shared about or with me.
We say it doesn’t matter but in all honesty, it does.
People do matter as do our relationships with them.
Without them, there would be no “us.
The issue is when we take other’s unkind, unsolicited and unwarranted opinions, put them on our shoulders, take them as gospel and run with it.
It’s also unwise to wrap your entire identity and character around the fact that you are popular or liked by everyone. That’s not reality. Just ask a “reality” star.
I am finding it to be important to know me. Establish boundaries. Stop thinking that it’s always about me or something I’ve done wrong. Be strong in character and self-worth. Know myself and own it.
Everyone has opinions. Sometimes they help us have perspective but sometimes we allow them to tear us down.
Learn the difference. If you see a pattern developing with someone you know who keeps putting you down, give them less and less of your time.
If not, they will convince you of the lies they are telling you. Even if it’s the truth, if it doesn’t promote a healthy change, they could and probably are toxic for you as an individual.
We need people but I think it’s okay to be picky about the ones we allow in and have a right to kick them to the curb if necessary.
A quote from my boss when I left work today, said in a kind but firm voice, “Drop the bag of rocks, Maura.”
Be around people who are your cheering section and not the heckler’s corner.